A blog is born.
Welcome to my musings on pop culture and parenting. I am the Pop Mama and this is a safe place to steal away from your screaming child and get your fix on what's up with Beyonce and great poop stain remover tips.

Thursday, August 23, 2012

Ready or Not -- Here She Comes...

Another TRAIN WRECK!  TLC's new series, Here Comes Honey Boo Boo is a slow motion, slow drawling train wreck you cannot tear yourself away from.  At least I cannot.  My husband is disgusted by the show and was getting kind of judgey about my DVR-ing it.  Whatever, just because I don't watch the History Channel 24/7 like him does not mean I am totally ridiculous...I am totally ridiculous for a host of other reasons.  Moving on, I have been DVR-ing Honey Boo Boo and her freak family for the past few weeks and am once again impressed by TLC's reality programming vision.  That channel goes from wholesome and touching (think Duggar) to trashy and trivial in a heartbeat -- and I LOVE IT ALL.

So, for those of you who have not had the pleasure (or pain, depending on how you look at it), I will give you the low down on Honey Boo Boo.  Apparently this show is a spin-off from Toddlers and Tiaras (on the trash side of the TLC spectrum) and features a small-town Georgia family of all girls with little nicknames (with the exception of the baby daddy, affectionately called "Sugar Bear").  The youngest daughter, Alana, also known as Honey Boo Boo, is an aspiring (and when I say aspiring, I MEAN ASPIRING) pageant princess.  The matriarch (AKA Mama or June) is a 300 lb (literally, she weighs herself on the show) 32 year old extreme couponer (another TLC tie-in) mother of 4 daughters -- the oldest being a pregnant 17 year old (AKA Chickadee or Anna), two other teenagers (Chubbs and Pumpkin) and then little Honey Boo Boo, age 6.  I should also mention that there is a miniature pig named Glitzy -- no, I'm not kidding.

The show chronicles the family during a heated Georgia summer during which the clan takes part in the  Redneck Games (think belly flopping into a mud pit and bobbing for pig feet), washes their hair in the kitchen sink, toilet papers their own home, exhibits several bodily functions and gives a how-to lesson on a redneck slip-n-slide, all while finding time to prep little Honey Boo Boo for a big glitz pageant.

I am fascinated by this show for a myriad of reasons which include:
1.  Mama June is MY AGE.  Need I say more?
2.  The regional dialect is amazing.  I have never heard beautimous used so freely.
3.  The family is on a "diet," but still appears to buy copious amounts of discounted junk food.
4.  Alana is a rare treasure who screams everything she says for emphasis.
5.  I can't wait to see how the big glitz pageant goes...
6.  Sugar Bear's love for June.
7.  June's "neck crust."  I did gag when this was talked about.
8.  The fact that there is a new baby coming very soon...Alana will be an AUNT?!
9.  June blowing kisses to the camera.
10. Imagining what the crew of this show did to get punished this badly.

I have the newest installment waiting for me on the magical device that is DVR and I hope my husband won't look down on me too much for soaking it in while I sip a SkinnyGirl.  Love!

Have an awesome rest of the week!

Monday, August 20, 2012

The Potty Diaries: Day 3 in Potty Prison

Here we are on Day 3 of potty training lock down and it is going O.K.  It really isn't that bad, but I am feeling a little like a prisoner in my own home.  I'm thinking of venturing out to the driveway and maybe for a SHORT walk with the kiddos later today.  Maybe.  Saturday and Sunday were fine, with Saturday definitely a learning day with many accidents and Sunday getting better.  I also had a partner for those days and today I am flying solo with a crawling 8 month old maniac (no, really, he is a maniac) and a 1/2 naked toddler.  Sound fun? 

Today really hasn't been awful, although there were moments of horror...which I will not go into for the sake of decency, but let's just say I have played my part in keeping Clorox wipes in business.  Cam seems to be catching on and when he isn't too distracted, he does pretty darn well.  I make sure to give him plenty of props, dances and hugs and he is proud of himself when he does the deed in the proper place.  He is also EXHAUSTED, which leads me to believe that his brain is working overtime processing all of these changes and some of it is sinking in...he is typically better at it after rest (morning and after nap).  After nap today I myself was coming out of the bathroom to find him sitting on his little potty peeing all by himself.  SUCCESS!  He must have thought we won the lottery or something with the joy I was oozing, but instead of joining in the hype he simply asked for Dora and some fishies (goldfish) and turned back to his blocks.

I watched the Kardashians during nap and here is a new word that Kim came up with, although I think she thought it was actually a word, "precautious."  Using it in a sentence, "We want to know what you are planning on doing with Mason if you die because we are being precautious."  Ahh, the Kardashians.  Oh, and I forgot to blog this other prize dialogue that was featured on a different episode, but it is amazing...
Summary: Rob was being a you know what to Scott (the whole scenario reeked of set-up) and Kim is talking to Rob about it and explains it as Rob being insecure because "his sock line hasn't come out yet."  Rob has a sock line coming out?  What?  AMAZING!  These people never cease to surprise...and keep me entertained...which explains why they are gazillionaires.  

Saturday, August 18, 2012

The Potty Diaries

Yes, things are a changing and Cam is getting potty trained!  This post is a true parenting post and doesn't reference pop culture, unless you count the Huggies "Potty Dance," plus I will get into some information that only a parent of a toddler can appreciate...so I won't be offended if you decide to leave the page because potty talk just isn't for you.

Here goes:
We started the process in earnest this morning with about $100 in "big boy" undies at the ready, two potty chairs (one upstairs, one down), a potty bell, full juice cup and a prayer.  So far we have two successes (number 1) and a few accidents.  He is napping now in a pull-up and as soon as he gets up we will plop him down on that potty chair and start the whole process all over.  I decided to do this on a whim when I bought a potty training book to prepare myself for what I thought would come months down the road.  After reading the book "Toilet Training Without Tantrums," I decided that now was a fine time to employ the "Naked and $75" strategy touted by the book and get down to it.  Luckily, my husband was amenable and we didn't have any plans this weekend.

Basically, we let Cam hang out in undies and a t-shirt, drink his signature cocktail (90% water with a splash of white grape juice -- how sophisticated!) and set a timer for him to keep him sitting on the potty in regular intervals.  When the potty bell rings, he has to sit on the potty until he goes and then he can empty it out in the big boy potty and flush (what a reward!).  I also have a little chart where he can add a sticker for a success.  He LOVES stickers, so that is also a reward for him.

There have already been some "shake your head moments."  One was when he was standing in the kitchen eating a banana and just let loose on the floor and proceeded to stomp around in it like a rain puddle, saying "Wook Mom!  I peed!"  Thanks Cammy.  I'm hoping we get the hang of sitting on the potty sooner than later, because I only have so many paper towels...and so much patience.  I am counting on this taking more than a few days for him to master it, but I'm committed, so away we go!

Any advice on potty training or words of encouragement welcome!

Monday, August 6, 2012

Water Birth Witness Etiquette

I just watched last nights episode of Keeping Up With the Kardashians and I am still giggling.  The episode is totally ridiculous (like the entire series) and features Bruce Jenner visiting a sleep clinic, Kris and the girls going to visit her mother in La Jolla and, wait for it, Kourtney and Khloe witnessing a water birth.  Yes, some soul actually let them come to her house and witness her giving birth in a blow up pool in her living room.  Pregnancy can make you do CRAZY things.  Sheesh.

So, the reason I am still giggling is that during the water birth, while Kourtney (the pregnant one) watches the woman labor and asks inane questions, Khloe (the only sensible one in the family) gets so uncomfortable that she starts cleaning the woman's kitchen and house.  I don't blame her...she isn't pregnant, she isn't interested in a water birth and she DOES.NOT.KNOW.THESE.PEOPLE, yet she is there for one of the most personal, intimate experiences one could have.  She does NOT know what to do with herself and is totally uncomfortable.  Seeing her put her head down and start cleaning cracks me up and I can't say I wouldn't do the same thing if put in that situation.

Meanwhile, Kourtney is front and center checking the whole process out and the poor laboring woman, who had no idea what she was in for (it was her first child), has to have the E! camera crew in her living room and Kourtney checking out her lady parts.  Oy!

There was a time when I myself was interested in and was prepping for a natural birth, which did not end up happening for a variety of reasons, but in the planning stages I did not even want my mother in the room for it, much less a camera crew and Kourtney Kardashian.  At least she didn't bring Scott with her...I can just imagine the inappropriate jokes and comments that he would have made during the entire process.

Knowing his antics, he would probably have tried to get into the birthing pool, just to try it out and see what it felt like.  Which leads me to wonder, if you buy your own water birthing pool and don't rent one, what do you do with it afterwards?  Do you keep it for your little one to paddle around in later in life?  Do you look at it with fond memories while it is stored in your basement or garage?  I bet most people rent, because really, what are you going to do with it?

Anyway, I loved Khloe's fight or flight instinct to remove herself from the situation and start cleaning and I am still chuckling over it.  Happy Monday y'all!

Friday, August 3, 2012

YOLO and other things I learned on my summer vacation...

Last week the boys, my mother and I drove to New York and New England to visit family for our summer vacation.  I have said it before, and it still rings true, a trip with children is not a vacation -- it is a relocation.  That being said, the trip was lovely  -- really lovely.  We left at 3am on Thursday and drove straight through to my aunt's house in New York.  Stayed there a few days and then went on to Boston for two nights and then back to her house before starting home again.  We covered a ton of ground and felt like we toured Massachusetts.  The kids were troopers.

I wasn't sure how Cameron was going to fare being that he is two years old, but he was actually an amazing travel companion.  He was down for whatever, was the life of the party, and had only a few moments of two year old behavior.  Cam embraced his cousins (actually second cousins) and showed me that he didn't really need me around that much (tear).  The car ride was doable and I have to thank the good Lord for the built in DVD player!  Although I said I would NEVER.EVER.OWN A MINIVAN, after renting the luxurious Town & Country I am considering it for our next car...especially if we need three car seats someday.  We shall see.  After that, I'll just get some Mom Jeans and a short haircut.

We spent oodles of quality family time and I even learned what YOLO means. Thanks Emma!  I didn't watch any Olympics and didn't keep up with any pop culture --- although I did see Page Six of the New York Post and caught some gossip about Taylor Swift and one of the Kennedy boys.  My only message: STAY FAR FAR AWAY FROM THEM TAYLOR.  No good luck ever comes their way...

Other things I learned:
1.  When traveling with a baby, get a suite at the hotel so you can put him in the other room so he doesn't wake your two year old up in the middle of the night.

2.  Always pack Clorox wipes, extra diapers, wipes and a change of clothes for any extended car ride.

3.  Bring a lot of DVDS, "car presents" and snacks!

4.  Make sure that you are up to code on your pilates and yoga poses because they will come in handy when you are crawling from the front of the minivan to the back while it is moving.

5.  The stow-n-go feature is hands down one of man's greatest inventions.

6.  My son has an innate love of teenies (Hugs) and fits right in with our family tradition (see picture below).  For those of you that don't know what a "teeny" is, I feel sorry for you.

7.  My extended family loved and took care of my children immediately after meeting them.  I am blessed to call them my aunts, uncles and cousins.

8.  Boston traffic still sucks at 11pm.

9.   Making the effort is worth it.

10.  Cam is afraid of bathroom hand dryers.

All in all, the trip was amazing, I introduced my children to my beautiful and amazing extended family and I was pleasantly surprised at how easy the entire journey was.  For those of you out there afraid to take a road trip with young ones, it is completely doable with proper prep and planning...just make sure you have a good team mate at your side.  My mom was the biggest trooper of them all!  Thanks Mom / Mimi!

And, here is a shot of fat baby, who despite a double ear infection was still charming and smiley as ever.  Love you Henry!